Public Food-Shaming Is The Insidious Type Of Street Harassment No One Is Talking About
This article focuses on the other kind of cat calling and it's surely not complimentary at all (not that the other kind is, but the argument from the harasser is almost always that the call was meant as a compliment.) Women who eat in public are being called out for it - particularly if their food isn't deemed healthy. That they will get fat if they keep eating that ice cream, or they are fat because they do eat that ice cream.
I've certainly been harassed on the street before, particularly before my breast reduction in 2008. For some reason, my burgeoning breasts were the delight of male passersby and the butt of jokes around my friends and family. Food wise, I don't recall complete male strangers making note of what I ate in front of them. If anyone did, it's buried deep into memory.
What I want to talk about here is not something mentioned in the article and that is harassment from those we know best. Coworkers. Family. Friends. Even other women, if you are a woman and for the purposes of this post, I think I will stick to the point of a female.
I've been told before by those closest to me that if I keep eating a certain type(s) of food, I will gain weight. I will be fat, unattractive and boys will not like me.
I've been told while eating something healthy that I was doing a "good job" and I should "keep it up".
I've been reassured that it's OK to eat fattening foods because I'm young and my body can handle it. Or, I can eat those foods because I work out a lot. Or because I am thin, was thin, or I will be thin if I correct this awful mistake of eating something off some diet plan. For whatever reason, I was told by outsiders I could put certain things into my mouth and body based on my looks, youth and discipline.
And then there are the times I wasn't ever told what I was eating was good, bad, or anything really. Rather, the food itself received the comments. For example, eating a brownie can warrant the comments "oh those are SO fattening. I can't eat them". Indirect comments say a lot about what I am doing with my food, and of course what you are thinking about your food.
The problem is that this type of talk has become so natural anymore - but when we peel back the layers, it's harassing and quite uncomfortable on both ends of the spectrum. When someone comments on what I am eating, whether it has the "healthy" or "bad' label, you are making a judgment about me at best. At worst, you're fueling my eating disorder and this country's eating disorder. Food has moral value and we wear it like scarlet letters.
I eat things because my body has this mechanism that allows food to be chewed, swallowed and digested by the organs in my body. Not because of my exercise routine, genetics or morals. When did we forget that? For our society being so utilitarian about food, we forget the basic principles and rely on tried and true myths and stigmas around food to make the decision for us about not only what to eat, but how to feel about eating it.
My conversations surrounding food overtime has changed with recovery, but I must say, I think it has gotten harder. When I no longer participate in food judging contests, there is a bonding lost among women. Before, if I was eating something and another made a comment about it, I would jump right in. Sure, these french fries are bad for me, but I am running in the morning! You're right, I shouldn't eat this, but tomorrow is Monday and I can start my diet again (read: severely restrict). Now, my conversations are more like this after an unnecessary comment about food: These fries are good and I'm enjoying them. Or even These fries are good. I'm so glad the summer weather is back again; I'm looking forward to enjoying the sunshine when I get home from work.
No one likes to be received backhanded compliments or comments about what our hair looks like, or our clothes. No one likes to hear that our house is sub-par, or that our jobs could be better, or it's awesome from the outside when in reality it's tough to get by. So why are comments about food and eating ok? Why do we feel it's our right to criticize or celebrate what someone else eats? For all those times I was told I was a good girl for eating a salad over a burger, I was dead inside. I was hungry and artificially happy for a phony compliment which in the end meant nothing! If I was told I was being bad, it hurt and left me powerless, which is exactly what harassment does. So next time you're out with a group of girls, or among your family, stop the conversation. Enjoy the food and end the eating harassment because chances are the words you use are doing more harm than anything you could put in your tummy.
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